Today was/is a hard day. It's the first time it's really hit me that for the rest of my life, I'll be spending many "holidays" alone. To make it worse, things were stressful at work. I sat in my vehicle for a few mins today and just cried. Not hard, but tears are tears.

I just wanted to talk to mr. Wonderful. He wasn't there for me. Because he was out having fun with his family. I was so jealous. He spent the day playing mini golf. My "goals" this summer are to go play mini golf and go to the zoo. He already did one without me. So now I'm not sure I want to go. I don't want to always be the after thought. I'm frustrated. I hardly see my family but we drop everything to spend time with his.

Mr. Wonderful didn't answer when I called or texted him to tell him I was having a bad day. He couldn't take five mins out of his day to talk to me. He doesn't understand what it's like to be "left out". I didn't get to see my family. I didn't get to golf. I had a bad day. I'm sad. And he couldn't take five mins to say he's there for me.

Basically, I'm just having a really bad day.