Buck Up Cowboy

So I woke up this morning and decided I needed to stop being a baby. So I lost my job. Big whoop. Do I have a roof over my head? Yup... a nice one at that. Do I have a bed to sleep in? Yup... and a sexy boy to keep me warm. Do I have two feet and a car and any other form of transportation? Yuppers. I have skills to get another job. I have some one who loves me and is willing to support me through rejections until I'm able to pick myself up again. He doesn't resent me for moving in without a job. He doesn't even think about it. He doesn't even look at it like that. He sees it as I needed to make a sacrifice to move up here with him. He wants me here and until I find a job, he's just enjoying the home cooked meals, the clean house, and someone to light candles and welcome him home at night. Sometimes I wonder if he even realizes that I'm not working.

Last night he watched shows that I don't really get into and then we watched Grey's together... (how can I be so addicted to a show that when it's over I feel such a great sense of disappointment and start counting the days until it's on again... sad. I know) and after Grey's we cuddled on the couch and didn't talk, just held each other. No kissing or anything like that, just held each other. He broke the silence to whisper that he loved me. Ok so maybe he was watching the news but I was just enjoying being close to him. Is that wrong? That I can tune out people dying, single digit temperatures, the economy going down the tubes... just so I can hear him breathing? Maybe it's a little wrong, but I like it.

When I came in to watch Grey's, him and Percy were cuddled on the couch. I didn't want to disturb them so I sat in the WAY comfy chair that hardly gets any use because normally we can't sit close enough to one another. I looked over about half way through and couldn't help but capture the moment. They looked so peaceful.

Granted it wasn't long after this picture that Percy got booted and Mr Wonderful and I were tangled up together on the couch to watch the rest of the show. But we were apart for a good hour last night. Or maybe it was 45 mins.

We woke up 30 mins before he had to get up for work just to make sure we held each other tighter and reminded each other how much we love one another. I just like being around him. I like that he can make me laugh out of the blue. (One night when I was on the computer he came in and I thought he was just rubbing my head, when in reality he was putting it in an 80's ponytail... just because. It turned into a 10 min hair-do session. He'll kill me if he knows that I put that on the Internet but it was funny.) He doesn't try to argue with me when I'm feeling down, he just says all the right things. (The other night at dinner I wasn't real hungry, I felt like I didn't deserve dinner because I didn't "work" and he didn't tell me I was wrong, he just asked me quietly: Did you rake today? yes Did you go to the dump? yes Did you do laundry today? yes Did you vacuum and dust today? yes It looks like the dishes are done and dinner was ready when I got home, did you do that? duh, yes... Ok, just checking. And then he smiled. A really big smile.) He isn't real good about the romantic stuff and I'm not real good about it either, I like that we respect that about one another, and it makes the good stuff that much better. (We've had dates that have included grocery shopping, watching the washing machine, and cleaning the house. But on Tuesday he came home from work with a bouquet of flowers to welcome me HOME. I am finally home.)

So maybe I'm not going to work 9-5 at a job I hate just to bring home a couple bucks that we'll blow on something we don't need anyway. I'm working. I'm working hard at keeping Mr Wonderful in clean clothes, a clean house, well fed, and working at finding a job that I can go to every morning and like myself. That's hard work my friends. Very hard work.