sometimes all it takes is a look

the doc went ok yesterday. not a lot of bad news, not a lot of good news. ran tests. tests take 4ever to get back. so i was still rather bummed when i left yesterday. so what was i going to do? go back to work for 30 mins, doubtful. so i drove north. i went to see this guy.

this guy is like a drug. i can't ever seem to get enough. he makes me laugh all the time and that's very important. extra important on nights like last night. i was really uncomfortable being poked and prodded in all the wrong places. he took me for an extremely romantic dinner of burgers and ice cream. i even got a root beer float, my favorite. something about this kid makes me really, really happy.

it's probably wrong to let any person have as much control over me as he does. but it's not like wants the control, it's unwilling. i can't help but want to make him happy. maybe it's because he doesn't get UNhappy when i'm just being me. we are two of the most lazy s.o.b.'s on the planet. a night of sitting on the couch, watching tv, eating delivery... the perfect date. at the same time we can motivate each other though, and that's what's important. we have spent a friday night together cleaning his house from top to bottom. i'm talking 4 hours of hard core on my knees cleaning. i hate cleaning.

but he's wonderful. he listens and he responds. he turns the tv volume down when we talk on the phone so he's not distracted. he calls every morning at 7 am to say good morning. he respects me enough to never tell me what i can't or shouldn't do. he cares about my health and worries for my safety. he's funny and he keeps me laughing. and he can kiss. boy can he kiss. sometimes i think he could get me to do anything with those lips. not fair. but i love it.

i have no idea where life will take me, hell i didn't know i'd end up here, how can i prepare for anything??? i guess i can't. so instead of being careful and guarding my heart i let him in. i'm glad. i like to think we'll be around in each other's lives forever. that it'll be his stinky morning breath that wakes me up every morning. or his 5 o'clock shadow that greats me when i get home from work. i can't wait until i get to snuggle with him every night on the couch. and why not? i have no reason to think differently. when someone makes you feel as good as he makes me feel... you should live knowing that you've gotten perfection... and then do whatever you can to keep it.

i want to keep him. forever.