weddings

i was in a wedding this past weekend and i had a blast. it was my really good friend and i gave a speech and everyone laughed in the right places and i think i did ok. i drank a lot, but not too much. wasn't even hungover on sunday!

so that was good. what wasn't so good was a "friend" of mine hates me. she disagrees with my choice for a new boy in my life. probably because it's her brother. i don't know. maybe it was wrong for me to ever talk to him in the first place. maybe i'm in the wrong here. but she HATES me and when i say that i don't mean like she yells at me and tells me she hates me, i mean she does whatever she can to make sure i know she doesn't like it, without ever talking to me, like at all. i haven't seen her since um april maybe. haven't talked to her since july 3rd on the phone where she told me she wanted to punch me. she just passes on her hatred through her brother. which sucks because then not only does she hate me, she puts him in the middle. oh my gosh i seriously feel 12 even writing about this. she's a good person. she has a big heart and she's so sweet. to everyone but me i guess. i miss her. i miss talking to her almost every friday night - no exaggeration. i miss hanging out with her and laughing and drinking and dancing and just having fun.

i'm stuck because i'm happy. i'm really really happy but i always have this nagging voice in the back of my head reminding me she doesn't approve.

i just want it to be ok. i guess i have to accept a choice i made to make myself and someone else happy, is going to mean i have to lose a friend.